NOT MY CHILD is the true account of Keba’s life story an African-American Christian mother whose daughter came to her for support when she announced her sexual orientation at the age of 13. Keba, growing up in a conventional, religious household did not believe that her daughter could be homosexual and tried to convince herself that it wasn’t true. This created a massive void in their relationship and eventually drove her daughter into deep depression. It wasn’t until Keba realized that her daughter was the same girl she had given birth to and the majority of their problems were being caused by her own personal struggles that she chose to make change. The youth today face a wide variety of challenges and are influenced by TV, Internet, Peers, and bullying in school. This is very apparent when dealing with sexual minority youth. This book not only addresses the challenges parents face when their child decides to “come out of the closet” but also addresses the many fears and dilemmas parents face every day with raising any child. NOT MY CHILD is a book to help parents understand that they do the best they can with what they have. There is no wrong or right way to raise a child and to not “beat yourself up” when they decide to do things differently than we hope.
This book and workbook together can and will help parents come to peace with decisions their children have made that cause them to feel guilt or stress. NOT MY CHILD is for all parents no matter the age of their child. It is a self-help book guided by a personal story to help you understand the person you are raising is an individual. We give them tools to develop and become their own unique self. This is sometimes in no direct relation to what you may have done or not done for them. As parents, we have to let go of the expectations, and unrealistic goals and dreams we place on our children and let them become the magnificent people they are to be. Having a daughter who “came out” as a lesbian was one of the hardest things she has had to encounter so far. It is not easy nor is it always “okay.” She has found a way to embrace her religion, beliefs, prejudices, biases, values, and still remain true to herself and committed to her daughter. Her unconditional love for her daughter is what keeps her focused and determined to help the next child who has to face abuse, discrimination, harassment or bullying on any level. Keba started an organization called DreamGirlz that focuses on providing a safe place for young women and parents to come together and connect with each other to learn about culture, beliefs, and biases in life completely free of harassment and bullying.